Ch-ch-ch-changes

Wow, looking at that first post, I think I said "30-year-old" at least five times. Guess what's on my mind these days, children?

I can't help but think about getting older, though, because giant, sweeping changes are coming, and I don't know what my life will be like after they hit. Right now I feel a combination of boredom, weird excitement, and dread -- like I'm floating in a little pond, ever-so-slowly getting closer and closer to a giant waterfall. I don't have any frame of reference for what comes next, except the assurance that I know people who have done it, and they're still around. Sometimes, though, that's just not enough assurance for me.

What I'm talking about is that me and the missus are going to have a baby in January. That definitely marks the end of an era that's a known commodity: lots of travel, parties, booze, and the occasional illegal substance, having a little extra money and loads of free time. I know the downsides to having a baby -- namely, the loss of all of the above -- but I've never experienced the upsides to it, so I have the trepidation without the assurance that it's okay. I know on an intellectual level that we'll love the baby, we'll be over-the-moon happy with the baby, and that it really *doesn't* mean the end of all the fun stuff -- it means less of that fun stuff, and more of a different kind of fun stuff. But tell that to my spine, man, because that doesn't stop the shivers.

I'm not saying I don't want to start a family; I do. I also think that the booze, the partying, the etc., does lose its luster after a while, and you eventually need some deeper pleasures in life, and that process has already started. It'll be a very empty life ten years from now if I'm still trying to party like a twenty-something. So I want this to happen; I just wish it didn't feel like I only have a year left to be relevant, and that year's already half over.